Lonely , I feel lonely, I got nobody .................
I have refused to attend the church's fellowship this few weeks , I don't have willing to go . I couldn't felt homey when i went there , what my feeling is lonely , stress , depress and upset.
I always been teased when I was youth , I hurted a lots. I couldn't faced people . I felt diffident , guilty and sad. My social Life is really awful , I don't have much "friends". "Friends" ? YUp .....we can have lots of friends ....but not intimate .
I always meditate , am I thinking too much ? Am I too sensitive ? I even more believe some of my net friends than my real life's friends ( Include brothers & sisters in Chrisrt) . People who met me now will never thought I am weak . Appearance is so strong , spirit is so weak.
I have done a lots to make me strong , I learn more to stand tough. I learn a lots to cope my poor, I have tried a lots to force myselves growing . Notwithstanding , what I have done really help me growing and stand tough in people 's eyes , I still feel lonly and hurt , very damage.
Hurt will never be forget but it could be forgive ! Unluckly , these really arduous . I always choose the wrong ways , I prefer to evade ! I don't want to facing it . I even don't willing to met and talk to the people who had hurt me . Hurt isn't easy to be cure , it needs time and love .
I am not going to say , all is people's fault . I am doing at fault too. I am always stubborn , I can't accept the opinion beside myselves .
As a result , what I have done make me feel lonely ~
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not ru de, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."