Tough ? Tough !

A same word came out from 2 of my friends.

one was questioning and other one was answering .

both giving me encourage ~
I think I obviously show how overcast I am now .
Obviously showing from my face , my reaction ..........
That why people have started asking me and give me comfort .


Went to 1st Klang Enrollment ceremony today , as I were alone from my company . I was really felt relaxing and enjoying the morning service . No burden ! No troublesome ! Nothing to busy with ! Admittedly , I were shift off from somethings.

I really didn't fling myself into the Sunday service for long . Too much complained and dissatisfaction make my eyes blind and my ears refuse to listen.

I am touch with the sermon that gave by BB national chaplain , Rev Richard Tok. He had mention a book with the title of " Red Badge of Courage " , the story is about a young soldier who deals with the terror of war .

Below is a small introduction for the book .

After agonizing about whether he will run or hold in his combat, Fleming in fact survives his second battle by running away and we are led through his emotional journey, as he tries to make sense of the reality of battle and his own role within it, often reaching rather self-serving and egocentric conclusions. He runs away into the forest and meets up with a group of injured men. They ask him where he is wounded and he is embarrassed that he does not have one. Henry wanders through the forest and decides that running was the best thing, and that he is a small part of the army responsible for saving himself. Henry feels incredibly guilty when he learns that his battalion has won and that it wasn't a suicide mission after all. Henry returns to his battalion and is injured by another fleeing soldier. When he returns to camp, the other soldiers see his wound and thought that he was harmed by a bullet in battle. Henry goes along with the story and becomes one of the best fighters in his battalion. Many readers have felt that by mastering his fear and eventually leading a charge, young Henry has become "a man."

The title itself refers to a "battle" wound that Henry at one point yearns for. He tries to stop Union soldiers from running away and then gets whacked on the head. He then lies to Tom Wilson and says he got shot in the head. Crane uses colors like crimson and blue to represent various moods or relationships in the book. They often change with Henry's mood. A river will be a dark blue, then will look just like a sapphire, and the sun will look like a sick yellow, transformed into gold.

and He also talk about the drum , when the band play the drum with the rhythm , soldier marching forward ...........meet an approaching enemy head-on. For my own company which don't have any drum or trumpet , it might be hard for me to experience this .
I can say when I listened to the band performance , my tear was almost drop . It was complicated mind on me , loads of burden and unhappy things surrounding me for so long .

Just don't ask me why , Please always just be my side .